A (Not Very) Brief History of 2013, Before Everyone Else Attempts One…

After the dizzy heights of national pride experienced in 2012, you would be forgiven for thinking that 2013 would be a bit of a let down. Like a hangover, if you will. If we’re honest, things didn’t start too well as it was discovered that Iceland had been feeding us horse instead of beef in their lasagne dishes and the like. Easy mistake to make, obviously, both cows and horses have four legs, and are relatively large, so why not? By that logic, don’t be surprised if you see a Rhino Moussaka pop up as a ready meal some time soon…

The state of affairs didn’t improve when the goings on of some of Britain’s most famous TV faces from the 1970s were found to have involved a large quantity of utterly deplorable child sex offences. I’m sure the world has heard enough of Jimmy Savile’s name over the course of this year, but nothing ruins a reputation more than being a serial sex offender. It’s all well and good when you’re dead, it’s almost like you think you got away with it… but the world will always know now.

While I’m on the subject of certain dodgy individuals in positions of power, the Catholic Church was forced into choosing a new Pope after the bizarre resignation of Pope Benedict XVI in February. Unless I misread somewhere, the job of the Pope is held until you’re dead. A bit like paying taxes or sitting in front of the television waiting for a weather report to be wrong, just so you can write in and complain. (If there’s anyone out there that actually does that, PLEASE don’t bother…)

It seemed that the only good news in Britain came from sport. The British and Irish Lions rugby team actually beat Australia over the course of three matches, and a (currently) British man ACTUALLY won Wimbledon. Even the English cricket team won the Ashes, but then lost it again. We can gloss over that for now…

In other news, a baby that is more powerful than any single one of us (despite the fact that he is barely six months old as I write) was born. It’s not as if you couldn’t have heard about little baby George, because his name was all over the place. The media took it upon themselves to speculate about every last detail, and the sheer boredom that can come with six hours of broadcasting with no real news took its toll on journalists, as well as anyone that would’ve bothered to have sat through the running commentary of poor old Kate’s labour. To any women reading this, imagine if you were going through childbirth and there were copious amounts of cameras outside the hospital trying to predict what was happening at every given moment. Madness.

In the rest of the world, Robert Mugabe “won” the Zimbabwean election, while Kim Jong-Un got his uncle executed in an attempt to prove his worth on the world stage. Vladimir Putin was caught on camera topless for no apparent reason yet again, Barack Obama has been pretty quiet, and Boris Johnson continues to live in his own little world. As per usual, then. 

Somehow, the UK Independence Party (UKIP) made such strong gains in local elections this year that they were the third largest political party existing at that point. Until they were uncovered as racists, sexists, homophobes etc… but they still remain more popular than Nick Clegg’s Liberal Democrats. Which isn’t all that hard, but still.

In other news, Miley Cyrus thought it would be a good idea to use a foam finger in the complete wrong way and appear naked in a music video in order to get attention. A song raising an important issue in nature became very popular, making people think about what a fox might say. To this day, no one knows. A woman threw eggs at Simon Cowell and the X Factor song got to Christmas Number 1. Shock, horror etc…

One of the greatest figures in world history to have ever lived died in December as well. Even the great Nelson Mandela couldn’t have everything his own way at his own memorial service when a fake sign language interpreter managed to get through every bit of security going to pretend to know how to sign.

In short, then, 2013 hasn’t been all that great for the world. But the one solace that we can take from this is that Justin Bieber has said he’s retiring. If that isn’t something to be joyous about, I don’t know what is. Happy 2014, everyone.

Diary of a Fresher 2013/2014- Part 3…

So the end of the first semester is upon us and I can’t quite believe how close Christmas is. Because Christmas seemed to creep up on us so quickly, in an effort to make my floor more festive, I took the liberty of buying of what was imaginatively named “Snow in a can;” with which I sprayed on door windows around the floor. Rather than appreciating my handiwork, people unknown to me thought it would be a good idea to write obscene words in the snow within hours of the decoration being up. I was only trying to add some cheer, but hey ho (ho ho…)

In any case, workloads have been relatively heavy, and this culminated in my first proper student all-nighter last night, in order to finish my last essay. 6.19am was when I finally finished. I thought I would shut my eyes for a few minutes afterwards, the next thing I knew was it was suddenly 1 o’clock. Always good. Unlike normal people, I’ve been, let’s say, ‘blessed’ with an ability to not actually find anything to write about until a deadline is approaching. Not the worst trait to have as a journalist, I think (sincerely hope), but it doesn’t exactly help the blood pressure…

With different courses finishing at different times, goodbyes have already been said to some, and the floor definitely feels emptier. That said, my time to leave is tomorrow and I’ll definitely miss the flatmates/friends from the course over the Christmas period. I’m sure this is the same in other places, and as I’ve said previously in this little series, it feels like we’ve all known each for a lot longer than we have done, which means everyone has grown pretty close quite quickly.

As much as I have enjoyed uni life so far, it will be nice to spend some time at home. There are only so many pasta dinners/late nights a man can take… so a bit of time to recharge will do some good. 

Another piece of good news is that I have Fridays off in the second semester, which means I will be able to go home for the odd weekend to break up the time at university; which I haven’t been able to do at all so far. Seeing most people I live with go home for most weekends does leave the place quite empty, and with, frankly, not a lot to do over a weekend. I’m almost certain that my flatmates (that do stay over a weekend) will agree with me as well. 

However, back to now and it is a strange feeling I’m experiencing at the moment. It’s a mixture of excitement to go home again, to get back to my job, sadness at leaving uni for Christmas; and, I can’t stress this enough, massive-bags-under-the-eyes tiredness. But, a night in your own bed is probably the best thing many people can experience, and it is SO underrated…